Formal letter assignment
Subject: Introduction of myself
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing to you today to let you know more about me
My name is Cheng Feng and I graduated in 2017 with a diploma in engineering with business in Nanyang Polytechnic. The reason for choosing this course was because I'm unsure what I was interested in. Basically the course structure is 65% engineering and 35% business which allows me to have some fundamental knowledge and understanding about the both sectors. Throughout the whole 3 years in Poly, I realised my main interest was in engineering because I enjoy problem solving and understanding the needs and the purposes of engineer in the real world. Thus I would like to further my studies in SIT to further enhance my engineering skills which is needed in the real world.
My strength in communication is that I’m confident in what I want to say and how I want to present it to the audience with logical thinking and answer. For example back in polytechnic days, my team and I took part in Tan Kah Kee youth inventor award, I have to present our product to many high post such as director from a big firm or company to let them understand what we were doing and for their opinions.
However, one of my weaknesses in communication is that I am very poor in grammar. For example, I'm not sure what are the difference between past participle and past perfect tense. I'm often penalised in exams and even in every daily chat with people who have better understanding of grammar. Having to know my weakness I'll try my best to improve on it by reading newspaper and work on grammar books.
Ultimately what I want to bring back after this module are to be able to write good grammar which allows everyone who listen to my presentation or people who read my composition to understand what I intended to show. But most important goal after this module is to improve my overall standard of English in writing, as English is the most important and powerful language needed in the whole world.
I’m looking forward for your guidance in communication skills.
Best regards,
Cheng Feng
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing to you today to let you know more about me
My name is Cheng Feng and I graduated in 2017 with a diploma in engineering with business in Nanyang Polytechnic. The reason for choosing this course was because I'm unsure what I was interested in. Basically the course structure is 65% engineering and 35% business which allows me to have some fundamental knowledge and understanding about the both sectors. Throughout the whole 3 years in Poly, I realised my main interest was in engineering because I enjoy problem solving and understanding the needs and the purposes of engineer in the real world. Thus I would like to further my studies in SIT to further enhance my engineering skills which is needed in the real world.
My strength in communication is that I’m confident in what I want to say and how I want to present it to the audience with logical thinking and answer. For example back in polytechnic days, my team and I took part in Tan Kah Kee youth inventor award, I have to present our product to many high post such as director from a big firm or company to let them understand what we were doing and for their opinions.
However, one of my weaknesses in communication is that I am very poor in grammar. For example, I'm not sure what are the difference between past participle and past perfect tense. I'm often penalised in exams and even in every daily chat with people who have better understanding of grammar. Having to know my weakness I'll try my best to improve on it by reading newspaper and work on grammar books.
Ultimately what I want to bring back after this module are to be able to write good grammar which allows everyone who listen to my presentation or people who read my composition to understand what I intended to show. But most important goal after this module is to improve my overall standard of English in writing, as English is the most important and powerful language needed in the whole world.
I’m looking forward for your guidance in communication skills.
Best regards,
Cheng Feng
Thanks for making your post already, CF. I'll respond to it once your peers have had a chance to do so, and when I can actually see it. Now it is all black...
ReplyDeleteroger sir, as requested i've edited the post. Thanks for the comment
DeleteGOODAY CHENG FENG, good job in writing an introduction of yourself. The content is well written as the examples you given is well supported. Overall i think it is good, just that i feel the organizing of spacing between each paragraph is too huge. Lastly, good job and hope you can achieved your goal.
ReplyDeleteroger bro, THANKS for the comment
DeleteHi Cheng Feng, what is with that first sentence. The paragraph about your strength in communication can be elaborated a bit more but i get what you are trying to say. The second to last paragraph, end of second line, you should change every daily chat to every day conversation. Great job overall.
ReplyDeletethank you bro! appreciate your feedback and I'll improve on it
Deletecommented on calvin lang zi, jia jie and ying jia
ReplyDeleteDear CF,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this interesting and fairly complete self-introduction. You've followed the model presented in class closely and produced a letter that addresses each element requirement with quite a bit of detail. I appreciate the info about your interest in problem solving and engineering. You provide as well a detailed explanation of your strengths and weaknesses in communication, focusing on the confidence you have as a strength and then language use (i.e., grammar) as a weakness.
Writing is a major focus in this module, and for further developing the language used in tha process, we can start by analyzing language and conventions of this letter. For that, you need to consider the following:
1. reflexive pronoun
– I am writing to you today to let you know more about me > (insert the ful stop and check https://www.grammarly.com/blog/reflexive-pronouns/ )
2. verb use
-- for choosing this course was because I'm unsure what I was interested in. > (verb tense inconsistency)
-- my engineering skills which is needed > (subject-verb disagreement)
-- I'm not sure what are the difference > (subject-verb disagreement)
-- what I want to bring back after this module are >
-- which allows everyone who listen to my presentation or people who read my composition to understand what I intended to show. > (subject-verb disagreement + verb tense error)
which allows everyone who listenS to my presentations or people who read my compositions to understand what I intend to show.
3. phrasing/word use
-- with logical thinking and answer. > ?
4. punctuation
-- Basically the course structure > (missing comma... why?)
-- and 35% business which allows me > (missing comma)
-- Thus I would like >
-- my engineering skills which is needed in the real world. >
-- For example back in polytechnic days, >
-- Ultimately what I want >
5. sentence structure
-- my team and I took part in Tan Kah Kee youth inventor award, I have to present our product to many high post such as director .... > (comma splice)
Let's not though let the feedback for language use in this assignment eclipse all that you've done well. The critique is for revision and for development.
I look forward to assisting you as the module progresses.
Cheers,
Brad
thank you prof for the comments, I'll try to improve on verb, punctuation and most importantly study up on subject verb agreements in the future assignments.
Delete